"Et tu, Brute?"

People.

Some say...ya gotta love them. Really? Do I, really?

Hmmm.. I know deep in my heart ....I do. Love them, that is. Goddess bless me, but I have to.

But when I say "them" I REEEEALLLY need to include myself in that pronoun of generality....right?

Self -love...it is a tough card for me. And it gets even harder when I read the Mass Media bullshit headlines, blogs, and sound bytes of the daily grind.....

Thank Goddess I have a wondrous support system and we have the interwebs to connect us all to our tribe- at- large..(that's punny!)

But seriously......I am raising a red flag, or better yet...an upside down American flag of distress here today...and waving it wildly in the air...

I grow more and more alarmed everyday at the Fascists and corporate overlords who are buying up everything and everyone.... waging this VERY OPEN- VERY PUBLIC campaign of extreme hatred against fat people.

Are we ...the fat people...going to have to hold festivals to honor and celebrate our "UN-conformity" and wage a right's battle on Capital Hill and in legislation everywhere...just to have a right to exist? Or are we just getting crucified and shoved into some trains soon...and taken to a hot place..??

Cuz....I will cut a bitch...and bastard...equally...no prejudice required.... and so will my peeps...

In regards to the Shakespearean quote of "Et tu, Brute?"...I cite this in reference not to the suggestion that Caesar was saying to Brutus..."You ass, I thought you had my back...fucker"...but in the interpretation that is more akin to  "Hey Brutus (also translated means dull or stupid in Latin)...you're next....asshat."

The current social/economic climate looks to be trending hard that way. If I were not so angry, it would scare the POOP right out of me...and some might say.."Hey Fat Diva, that is great because ya know...you would weigh less " and I say to those people.

Shut. your. pieholes.

And just wait until Obama Care kicks in....... Fatties?... start prepping for Fatpocalypse...

We live in a world here in the Western cultures, where we are fed food that has ZERO nutrition, is messed with by untried and tested "science" (looking at you GMO asshatery...stop fucking with the bees....and everything else) that is driven by MEGAcorporations that wish to reap (rape) the money from us while feeding us sawdust...yes, dear reader.... and soon Soylent Green is people...you watch...we are already allowing this to happen to our farm animals...and then we get the BigPharma telling us we are fat because we LACK the willpower to OBVIOUSLY stop stuffing our faces with crap food that is filled with fat, salt, fake sugar (but at LEAST it is low fat, thank JeeBus)  and...yes.. soon that added flavor of people (see above)..and THEN...insult upon injury... the MASS (funny that word used to describe them)  media enforces that we feel like shit about ourselves because we can not live life up to, or be like, the .000000008 % of the Beautiful Cool Kids we see AIRBRUSHED (who are secretly sucking down Epsom salt to stay thin)... in any media bytes we are watching...sadly CHOOSING to watch......so we get depressed ....which makes us do what? you got it!... eat more crap from Big Agra and then go to the Dr, INC ....who treats us like muck beneath his shoe because we require "the big cuff " to check the blood pressure..then we EAT more drugs he gives us (isn't that his job...drug pusher for the overlords? or am I mistaken?) because SHOCKINGLY....can you believe it?  We are fucking depressed......so to top that joyful ride off...we then go outside in Social Land...wher the "people" are... and enjoy the sweet privilege of being shamed by EVERYONE because we obviously can not CONTROL ourselves in the snacks aisle and now " YOU PEOPLE are going to cost the tax payers of this country BILLIONS of dollars in health care costs because YOU ARE A LOSER.....and just can not stop eating EVERYTHING!"

(pause)

(screaming aloud)....ARE>YOU>FUCKING>KIDDING>ME?


GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so so angry. In case you missed that factoid...I am.

And working in the world of heath and wellness, I see the results of this Ride TO Hell on the faces and souls of my customers..who just want to live their lives, raise their babies, and be happy.

Yes, many of us have made choices that effect our fattness ...and shit, even called that into being.....Talk to me about Journeys down dark roads and finding our broken selves again, then being brave enough to love all the pieces as a whole..but that is another blog..

.in the meantime...

How do you even DARE be happy and be fat?

Even when you work toward becoming healthier...which is subjective and unique to each soul on the planet...(I am fat..and pretty damn healthy for where I am at...) fat folks are kicked and spit on the entire way they are trying to walk their walk...people driving by in cars while we are out exercising ....and they ...the "people"....feel it is their God- Given -Right  to share their opinion, good or bad..on what we are doing, or eating in a restaurant, or shopping for clothes..

WAIT...daydream time!! (dooddlydoodoodlydoodoodlydoo)

Imagine..... if I just decided to inform every parent I saw in my daily life about my opinion about them choosing to raise 3-6+ kids in a world where resources are unequally distributed amongst the peoples of the World,  and how offended I am they they can not "say no" to sex, and how they OBVIOUSLYdo not use contraceptives. I tell them ...please!  spare the world 3+ more of your entitled, bratty kids who always are ripping shit they did not buy off the retail shelves I am trying to stock..I ask them.."DO you live on a farm? Do you need these kids to work the land, or go work in the factory while you sit at home and dream of other places to screw your spouse so you can remain addicted to the rush of hormones you feel while pregnant...? because you seriously can not love the having kids part when you let them run a muck and annoy everyone trying to shop."....imagine a world where I could say that..

(Reality returns) But you can tell me  "maybe I should have a salad instead of an entree as you casually walk by my restaurant table, where I am minding my own business and enjoying the company of friends? And think I will not hear you when you say it under your breath? Really?...FUCK YOU.

Fat Prejudiced is ACCEPTED and ENCOURAGED BY EVERYONE.

Now....tell me how long YOU could withstand that shit and be successful in healing your self..mind -body and spirit...cuz guess what Dr -Wanna -Be-God-sauces....and Peoples Who are Hating Themselves and Have To Take It Out On Fatties...

.....it-is-all-connected

read this article..yes it is a MMS thing...shhh

I hope that other sane folks who feel this trend is dangerous and alarming start to speak up and ask the questions, and DEMAND answers....."How do we stop the madness?.."What the hell?" "We have to end this " etc" ...at least for the sake of the damn children....please Jee Bus...and all Holy Beings everywhere...we .no wait.. as the pronoun earlier cited....."they"...the "peoples"  have gone MAD....MADDD!!!
..send the Ezekiel Wheels....HURRY!

I am ready.

 I have always known I would most likely leave this world on fire, strapped to a pole..and I am at peace with fighting to the death for my beliefs and for the sake of others I believe in...the question I ask you, dearest reader is...look to your own life and it's habits and desires....are you real with yourself about what is happening?...not just to fat people, but things that CONTINUE to happen to folks who are maybe not like you,believe like you,  look like you, think like you..?.

Are you next? Cuz we are there....we are already there...and divide and conquer is very much forefront on the minds of those who would oppress us..

I leave you to ponder with the words from our not -so- distant past...



First they came for the communists,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a communist.
Then they came for the socialists,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a socialist.
Then they came for the trade unionists,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a trade unionist.
Then they came for me,
and there was no one left to speak for me.

~ Martin Niemöller (1892–1984)

 Be Mindful your words, your thoughts, your deeds, and Be the change you want to see in the World...I am working on that myself...

Thanks for reading, peeps..Fat Diva is off to prep for battle...what are YOU doing?

Fat Diva Loves Her Some Random Strangers....

I met an angel once.

Actually, let me back up...I have met angels many times in the Dreamtime..but this angel...was here..in 3D Land. Full on fleshed out right before my eyes.

Groovy story...regardless how you might feel about the validity of a person meeting angels..here in 3D Land or in the Dreamtime...but that is your deal, and I respect that.

My deal goes like this....

Long ago...say about 1994-1996 ish...can not recall exactly when..it was long ago.... I was working a sports celebrity event Jim Marshall was throwing.... with my bestie, Pamazon...and the Guest of Honor, aside from some MN Sports greats like Kent Hrbeck, (SUPER nice guy BTW) was the actor John Amos.

For his deets, click here:
 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Amos

Anyway, so we are doing this celebrity auction in support of inner city youth ...and after the party was wrapping up and a few of us were sitting at the bar listening to these great stories John was sharing, he decided he was not done, and that we all needed to go find a reggae bar to go dancing at. Luckily, we were down at the Fine Line, and a jaunt over to The Red Sea on the West Bank was not out of the way.

However, Pamazon and I are two...very Diva-esque white chicks...and I was in my late 20's and Pamazon is 12 years my senior...not that age has much to do with it, shit, John and most of the peeps we were with were far older than that...it was just...a reggae bar? Seriously? and we were in formal-esque attire as well...so we weight the option and said......sure...wth! and off we went.

So we get to the Red Sea...on a Saturday night...TOTALLY packed...great Bob Marley cover band playing... and bestie and I look at each other a crossed a sea of lots and lots of short folks...and we start laughing...like..."are you kidding me? Are we really here? Is this happening?" and as I stood there, awkward and thinking, "we should just go".... a TINY little Rasta man came vaulting...I kid you not...He SPRUNG out of the dance floor crowd, seized my wrist like a vise, and yanked me into the center of the dance floor...and proceeded to ROCK.HIS.FACE.OFF....and after a breath of.."HOLYSHITWHATDOIDONOW?"..I threw myself into the music with abandon and rocked my Fat Diva ass off as well.

It.
Was
Glorious.

So, one would think this was the end of a tale, but it is not...so sadly, the bar was close to closing, so dance your face off time only happened for about 20-30 minutes tops before it was time to leave...John had a blast and hugged us all fiercely as we poured out of the club, all sweaty and giddy.  out we stumbled into the early summer night..and as goodbyes were trailing on in their MN way..I stepped off down the sidewalk a store length or so to catch my breath, adrenaline pumping through me and a HUGE Fat Diva smile on my face...

I use to live in the McKnight Building in the Cedar Place highrise in college, so I was very familiar with this corner...and as it was late, there was no one really around unless they came out of Red Sea, or the 400 Bar...and as I sucked in air and reset my center...I remarked to myself how odd it was that the street was so empty, Red Sea spill out excepted.

Then I heard this soft voice come from my blindside on my lower right ...and it said " You have such a beautiful smile. What are you so happy about?"

I kid you not, this cat was literally within my auric field, and I had not seen or felt him approach..he was just...not there...then there...but he did not scare me...he was a very small Asian looking gentleman, could have been a homeless person, or just a  dude...tho I recall him wearing a parka- like coat, and it not being cold..

I turned, not in a startled way,  and bubbled forth some words about how awesome it was to dance and the music was so great and how could I NOT be elated when life is so groovy....and the rush of it all...

He smiled and nodded ...and then said "We watch you, ya know...and it is loved most by all of us when you sing. You need to sing. Sing."

My eyes opened wide , and I stammered a bit as I said..."yes..I do..er..will....I am glad...huh?"
( I know...super eloquent of me, eh? And truth be told, at the time, I was not singing very much and was all mucked up about it)

I turned left quickly to see if Pamazon was coming and then looked right back at him to ask more about the singing, and he was gone...in thin air..not walking across the street, or down the street...just...gone...

I knew then in my heart of hearts, without question, that  I had had a run in with a seraphim- like being.

Pamazon found me shortly and I babbled the experience to her....she being a person of deep Spirit....we hugged and shook our heads about what a weird and wonder- filled night it was...and we got in the car to go..

That day has never left me. Not sure what to do with it, other than maybe knowing the comfort that we are being watched over...by loved ones, angels, guardians, those with our highest good at the heart...and that as hard as this 3D world can be ...there is something much  more to be gained from living it.

Play hard, Love deep, Sing and Dance your faces off, my pretties...

When Life Is A Shitstorm...Eat Cake..(or at least dreamblog about it)

Hello peeps...been a while

Fat Diva is sorry....life has been...well...certainly NOT boring.

Sometimes, I think of what it might be like to live a life where nothing happens....then I get bored.

So let's see..recap of Fat Diva News from September to now.

in the infamous words of Eddie Izzard...

Death
Death
Death

Lunch

Seems the Rapture did not gobble up humankind at the "End of The World 12-21-12" party, but is certainly smarted for many of us in my world. I am convinced it is happening in a slow trickle...and looking around at so many transitions of peeps...I am sure of it..

My dearest Adam, creative partner in crime, bestie- friend -soul -brother transitioned from us on Dec 21, 2012 at the young age of 30. I was the last person to see him alive that morning.

Needless to say, on the wings of my Father's transitioning  in Jan of 2012, this was not a joyful year for Fat Diva. Sure there were good points, but the not good, not easeful, not happy parts....were epic. And looking around my circles, close and several degrees away...there is much much death and mayhem a foot. Tis the times I am sad to say. We are all moving through the muck and mire and clarifying the butter that is our lives.

mmmm....butter...

Grief is a weird and crafty beasty....it is a wicked justify-er, shrewd and slithery negotiator, and it's a sneaky bastard to boot...you never know when it is going to get the jump on you...could be anywhere, any time..and yet EVERY time it springs upon your back, or side swipes you with a hip-check of Doom...you are actually surprised...provided you can ascertain quickly who was driving that Sherman Tank that just plastered you to the floor to be peeled up like a fruit roll- up by your friends, or random strangers....oy...Grief...am I your bitch?

Which brings us to cake.

I really want some...REALLY want some.

I am not in a place where I am denying myself anything.....but....cake...dreaming about it...and more death.

Truth be told......food tastes "off/wrong" to me. I eat because I know I have to fuel the machine with something that makes it "go" through the motions. Don't much care right now what it is...sadly...not helping the health focus.

Despite all the planning, prepping,and research, getting of the lovely NutriBullet machine, collecting recipes to detox organs and just have a creative palate of juices.... to do a juice fast and smoothie cleanse starting in the Fall of 2012..I have been hindered...

My current running software is as follows: (ahem)

"I will start this cleanse/journey after....... the pre- holiday-nope-now-after-shows-go-up-Stop!-now- post- cat- surgery-and his-recovery-crap-now-after -the-funeral -wait-must-helm-all-the-shows-alone-without-Adam-wait!!-family -dynamics-take-everything-we-built-and-trashing-it-fuck!!doh!- after- my- fish dies -which- I -had -to -facilitate -myself -super-sad -and -sucky -and - now- after -our- chorus- show- is -done- in -Feb- when -the- hell -am- I- going -to- clean -my -house- ugh -I- can- not- believe -I -live- here- in -this-filth-crap-packed-loft-crap-crap-crap!!! "

I cry shenanigans on myself and the Universe..now bring me some fucking cake...I EARNED it!!

I do not think it is really about shoving a frosting laden piece of vanilla-y moist cake-y goodness into my piehole...I think it is about the IDEA of cake. That after all this craptasic struggle, I deserve a reward. And it's the realizing that "cake = reward" that makes me look at the emotional content of that little seemingly innocent equation...and I realize I have such a long way to go...which I knew...but that my need to feel better needs to outweigh the instant gratification of CAKE on my poorly-translating-yummy-flavors-cuz-it-seems-to-be-broken tongue.

Glad I am not driving right now .... I can not just run to the store to fulfill such synopsis of my brain body signals. Thank Goddess..or my ass would have 2 zip codes.

So I have to THINK about it a bit, and then wait for a bit while the thought/craving/destructive behavior is not fulfilled, and it moves on like a hungry wolf pack ...onto weaker deerfolk...

Working in the business of health and wellness with Seattle Sutton's....I see lots of folks struggling with food and how they have built it to control their every moment. And I do not want to be that anymore.

I love food. I am a hedonist. That is going to be a forever for this lifetime thing...but it is always about choices. So I am just making sure I am as conscious about it is possible

I hope my taste-buds return to normal soon. I think it might be a grief thing...so only high levels of salt, sweet, or fat make it through the brain fog and heart trauma of being so, so sad. I am not enjoying anything about eating right now..and it annoys me.

Hopefully..this will pass, and the cake dreams will fade a bit....as will the real life epic death around me

Besides...I am so much more of a pie girl these days.

Keep it real , folks...be brave enough to be happy.

Loves
Fat Diva

I AM the Tardis...for real?

Now first, let me pontificate how much work I am doing to keep myself in the Flow of all things Heart Minded (in a spiritual path/choice way) and that I am doing a LOT of deep breathing everyday so as to not go all Pele' on the masses asses.,.....seriously...DEEP as the fathomless ocean deep breathing......(sucks in the oxygen)....I am not always good at that...and mean people suck..

There is such a rush of words and emotions here...I hope Fat Diva can make some sense...I will tangent in pieces, then in swift non-sequitur Eddie Izzard fashion, I PROMISE I will tie it all back together in relevance..and hopefully with liberal doses of genius humor as the Great Eddie does.

Much of my life has been spent in the "above average" in all things..in height, in size, in energy, in voice, in laughter, in rage, in chaos, in drama, in sadness.......I.Am.Epic...to say the least.

AND...I have recently..through my spiritual work....come to realize ...if you can believe it ....I have been living my life veryverytinysmall...for fear of being TOO much of Everything and thus make others around me uncomfortable or sad,jealous,enraged, <insert other adjectives here infinitude...fuck yes... it is a real word>

This was a revolution of thought for me...It had been mentioned to me in the not so distant past..(thank you friends..you know who you are)..but it is one thing to have folks share, speak wisdom, and outside observations of you TO you...but to internally have your  "eureka/holy FUCK" moment....yeah..that is when shit gets real....really fast.

So ...in discovering that ..hmmm..perhaps my world is as fubared as it is in many places, especially the Self Love/Body love area...because I am living my life way way too small and that ..oh  maybe..just MAYbe...I have manifested this Fat Diva Meat Suit for the 3rd dimensional proof that I am one of the finest alchemists this Universe has ever seen...I mean..shit..Look how FABULOUS A MESS I MADE... this manifested reality is chaos...and...I did that!

AND if I ACTUALLY lived my life FULLY ...then anything I want to do is MORE than possible...by living LARGE...like cosmos large....

and....(loves me the conjunction-junctions) in denying myself the Self Love I have not allowed...and by worrying that others would dislike me being all bright and shiny ... I created exactly what I loathed would happen all those thousands of journal pages ago..

Wow.. I am good. Right?

Now the task of learning how to be as bright big shiny and Massive as I AM...and better understanding how and why I store my energy the way I do.

There is just not really and EASY button for this Human living thing, is there?...I know I know...we all came here to experience the ride...I hear you, I get it...now...to apply the principles..back to school I go...

I know some may observed this thought process as some Eckhart Tolle- New -Agey -Laws of Attraction-Crappy -Crap...and if you do...that's fine...and if it makes you feel uncomfortable.....

Good. Suck it....with a side of Love...

word.


EDIT: NO FRAKIN WAY...I AM THE TARDIS...HE SAID SO
THIS was my Free Will Astrology horoscope by Rob Breznsy's from the week of Feb 12 2015

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
Week beginning February 12
Copyright 2015 by Rob Brezsny 
http://FreeWillAstrology.com

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In the TV science-fiction show *Doctor Who,* 
the title character lives in a time machine that is also a spaceship. It's 
called a Tardis. From the outside, it appears to be barely bigger than a 
phone booth. But once you venture inside, you find it's a spacious 
chateau with numerous rooms, including a greenhouse, library, 
observatory, swimming pool, and karaoke bar. This is an excellent 
metaphor for you, Scorpio. Anyone who wants your love or friendship 
must realize how much you resemble a Tardis. If they don't understand 
that you're far bigger on the inside than you seem on the outside, it's 
unlikely the two of you can have a productive relationship. This Valentine 
season, as a public service, make sure that everyone you're seriously 
involved with knows this fact.

RAW-r or Not RAW-r? aka Doomed Horizon

so...you have not heard much from the Fat Diva lately..and I am sad for that...Life just gets all Life-y and this year has been brutal on many in my circles and I am weathering the storms and tsunami swells myself...oy.

I know I am not alone in this wee-little-life-raft-made-of-noodles...so...enough of that.

One of the things, as it relates to being Fat Diva..is that I have been doing a bunch of research and contemplation about adding a bunch of Raw Food lifestyle into the Fat Diva Land mixer.


So I am looking at the pros and cons...cons being not that the lifestyle is bad..it is not...but how can Fat Diva implement it into her OWN worldview...that is a much more interesting puzzle...

I have a pal looking to do some similar changes, so we are knocking our gorgeous noggins together and seeing what we can make happen...

I have been feeling for a long time, my body crave the juicy juice detox gifty...and it is about carving out a space in the CrazySchedule to make myself important enough, my house clean enough, and the grocery shopping affordable enough to do a 10 day juice cleanse and reset. that sounds like excuses...i am choosing to see it as a Reality Check Opportunity...Raw Food/Juicy Food is high maintenance, and expensive in the urban setting...one would think as myself..I would be use to that...but I am not. One one gets into this scene...it can simplify as economy of motion kicks in...but that takes time.

My gluten intolerance is tipped over as well. Now, I  am not allergic...just sensitive after several years of eating without the mindfulness for that...

also..my acidity is harsh and need to focus on the alkaline making of the body pH.

so LOTS of Self Love work to do...did I mention that I suck at that?

Lost some peeps recently ...way to young for Death...and health issues...and have some more peeps dealing with health challenges of an epic nature..so..yeah...too.close.for.comfort.

Future Times:

Looking at my commodities and futures reports, and gleaning much info from rouge economists and fringe watcher alternative news folk...the way we deal with, have access to, acquire good fresh garbage-free food is in danger of shifting in a way we are too terrified and in denial to imagine...

all the more reason to plan and dump the energetically manifested -bulky -flesh- dress...because when it comes down to survival..know one really cares if you are fat, what your skin color is, who your parents were, or what faith you practice...right? everything becomes CRYSTAL clear and that economy of E-motion kicks in...

And all signs of the coming future tells me the Zombie Apocalypse is not as far off as we thought...so...yeah...there needs to be a system reset and overhaul completed in the next 10 months...I feel the pressure from all sides.

I am listening now, Universe...I get it...the Hunger Games are here...we are poised for an Empire failure...so...what do we all do to strengthen, prepare, and be in the best place we can be to be in peace about what is possible, and change the story>


We focus on our Self  Love, Self Care and keep our hearts open to hear the wisdom from within, and then act on it.

the acting part...that is the scary piece sometimes...right?

William Shatner...look out Fat Diva is in the house...

Pray for me, gentle readers...pray for us all.

Read this awesome article and follow instructions...

Hey humans!...go out and do better

http://jezebel.com/5908787/being-mean-to-fat-people-is-pointless-a-good-old%20fashioned-plea-for-civility

From The Universe...and the Dreamtime.....a Warning? Message? Words To Live By?

Raven says -

Overcoming.
A moment of pain.
A lifetime of pride.
Row Hard.