Fat Diva's Inferno

So...my store is 106 degrees today. I am sitting in pools of sweat..which is SUPER awesome for my customers and I to be a part of...but the brutality of the heat here in the upper Midwest is crushing us all like wee bugs.

So today"s blog will be short as I am sticking to everything...>BLECH!!

But today is about being fierce in spite of everyone and everything Life lobs at you.

This is fierce

Let it be known..... fat Russian ballerinas are the epitome of fierce....

If they can do that, I can sit here in 106 degrees and do my mojo and whine a bit less.

What can you whine a bit less about today?

Be fierce, I dare you.

Love and "it's too hot to touch hugs from a distance"

Fat Diva

Having My World Rocked....

So yesterday, as I was about to head out on a consult for a wedding of some friends...I was gifted with a blog article  that stunned me like a smack across the face.

I am not going to share it here..I might later..but the jist of it was a public apology/ open letter from a woman who had worked in the diet industry, and she was apologizing to her former clients. Apologizing for her 'helping" them with their weight issues through the program/product/employer she was working for/with.

As I sat outside waiting for my ride,my cheek still smarting from the  "Pay attention, Fat Diva" blow from the Universe....I read the article/letter and began to cry as I processed what it said, so plainly and raw.

I am still internally weighing how I feel about the blog, and my reaction to it...as my Being is actually still percolating a reaction to it.

needless to say...it was a game changer in so many things in Fat Diva Land...so many things.

I can choose to see it as the clarification I have been asking for...as Fabeku Fatunmise would say.."my BOOM!"....

or I can choose to work to strike a balance with the information I am digesting, and how I choose to do business in the health and wellness industry...

or I can rage against the machine and pound my fist bloody, hoping to be heard...

or I can just ignore it all and continue enjoying this lovely tasting sand....

or I can run away screaming as if I am fire...

which ever the outcome......mindfulness is most assuredly needed in moving forward.

I am sorry to be vague and cryptic...it is all just too fragile to see the light of day ...partially formed and vulnerable..

stay tuned, peeps...and remember to open your heart and your Inner Ears to the Universe talking to you...cuz it is loving you all the time....even when you can not tell.

Pax, may we find lots of it soon
Love-Fat Diva

well....that was interesting....

So...last week at this time, I was doing my Fat Diva thing, working the live -long-day...and from the moment I awoke..was sure I was not in my meat suit correctly...as if my left leg was twisted a bit...and I was dizzy and spacey, and my heart was fluttering a lot.


a lot a lot.

read some interwebs pages, did some meditations, made some calls to some peeps..all the while
S-----L-----O-----W-----L-----Y------ sliding into a kind of hysteria...while still servicing my customers and making the day go.

and looking into what it feels like for women to have a heart attack...which I was not completely convinced was NOT happening...

as the work-a-day moved on...the hysteria and weepy started clawing it's way into my fore-brain and by the end of the work day...at 730pm..i was fetal on the floor of my store, sobbing and rocking back and forth like a wee-bairn...thinking..this is it..I am going to die here.

Enter the beautiful Empress and she came and smudged me down, grounded me. and held my hand as she explained to me

"You are having an intense panic attack, dearheart. Just breathe and ride it out"

HOLY CRAP, dear readers....what an awful thing. I am sure there are more awful things than that medically to experience, but as a migraine sufferer..with spine structural issues...i have a pretty deep threshold for pain...this...this was a brain chemistry bomb going off in my embassy of Being.

boo

boo boo boooooooooooo

So, after Empress assured me that the thing I needed the most was lots of water and deep sleep, she took Fat Diva home and I crawled ..literally..into bed and slept like the dead for nearly 12 hours.

And on Wed, I decided to walk 4 industrial blocks at sunset and enjoyed the summer breeze, ate a nectarine and drank some water during, and just curled my toes in the grass for a while...sucking wind toward the end...but I did it..

yay me!

now..the task is preventing any future brain chem bombs and entering into some peace treaty talks...cuz I am not interested in any meds, despite the joy and relief they have brought dearhearts I love..i just have to figure out something to unravel all this dross in a different way.

Those of you who deal with these regularly...I am so sorry...and hope you find the healing you need.

So onward and upward I trailblaze..hoping to find the strength to make a difference for me.

Blessings peeps...be careful out there.