Thursday, September 6, 2012

I AM the Tardis...for real?

Now first, let me pontificate how much work I am doing to keep myself in the Flow of all things Heart Minded (in a spiritual path/choice way) and that I am doing a LOT of deep breathing everyday so as to not go all Pele' on the masses asses.,.....seriously...DEEP as the fathomless ocean deep breathing......(sucks in the oxygen)....I am not always good at that...and mean people suck..

There is such a rush of words and emotions here...I hope Fat Diva can make some sense...I will tangent in pieces, then in swift non-sequitur Eddie Izzard fashion, I PROMISE I will tie it all back together in relevance..and hopefully with liberal doses of genius humor as the Great Eddie does.

Much of my life has been spent in the "above average" in all height, in size, in energy, in voice, in laughter, in rage, in chaos, in drama, in say the least.

AND...I have recently..through my spiritual work....come to realize ...if you can believe it ....I have been living my life veryverytinysmall...for fear of being TOO much of Everything and thus make others around me uncomfortable or sad,jealous,enraged, <insert other adjectives here infinitude...fuck yes... it is a real word>

This was a revolution of thought for me...It had been mentioned to me in the not so distant past..(thank you know who you are)..but it is one thing to have folks share, speak wisdom, and outside observations of you TO you...but to internally have your  "eureka/holy FUCK" moment....yeah..that is when shit gets real....really fast.

So discovering that ..hmmm..perhaps my world is as fubared as it is in many places, especially the Self Love/Body love area...because I am living my life way way too small and that ..oh  maybe..just MAYbe...I have manifested this Fat Diva Meat Suit for the 3rd dimensional proof that I am one of the finest alchemists this Universe has ever seen...I mean..shit..Look how FABULOUS A MESS I MADE... this manifested reality is chaos...and...I did that!

AND if I ACTUALLY lived my life FULLY ...then anything I want to do is MORE than living cosmos large....

and....(loves me the conjunction-junctions) in denying myself the Self Love I have not allowed...and by worrying that others would dislike me being all bright and shiny ... I created exactly what I loathed would happen all those thousands of journal pages ago..

Wow.. I am good. Right?

Now the task of learning how to be as bright big shiny and Massive as I AM...and better understanding how and why I store my energy the way I do.

There is just not really and EASY button for this Human living thing, is there?...I know I know...we all came here to experience the ride...I hear you, I get apply the principles..back to school I go...

I know some may observed this thought process as some Eckhart Tolle- New -Agey -Laws of Attraction-Crappy -Crap...and if you do...that's fine...and if it makes you feel uncomfortable.....

Good. Suck it....with a side of Love...


THIS was my Free Will Astrology horoscope by Rob Breznsy's from the week of Feb 12 2015

Week beginning February 12
Copyright 2015 by Rob Brezsny

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In the TV science-fiction show *Doctor Who,* 
the title character lives in a time machine that is also a spaceship. It's 
called a Tardis. From the outside, it appears to be barely bigger than a 
phone booth. But once you venture inside, you find it's a spacious 
chateau with numerous rooms, including a greenhouse, library, 
observatory, swimming pool, and karaoke bar. This is an excellent 
metaphor for you, Scorpio. Anyone who wants your love or friendship 
must realize how much you resemble a Tardis. If they don't understand 
that you're far bigger on the inside than you seem on the outside, it's 
unlikely the two of you can have a productive relationship. This Valentine 
season, as a public service, make sure that everyone you're seriously 
involved with knows this fact.

Thursday, July 26, 2012

RAW-r or Not RAW-r? aka Doomed Horizon have not heard much from the Fat Diva lately..and I am sad for that...Life just gets all Life-y and this year has been brutal on many in my circles and I am weathering the storms and tsunami swells myself...oy.

I know I am not alone in this of that.

One of the things, as it relates to being Fat that I have been doing a bunch of research and contemplation about adding a bunch of Raw Food lifestyle into the Fat Diva Land mixer.

So I am looking at the pros and cons...cons being not that the lifestyle is is not...but how can Fat Diva implement it into her OWN worldview...that is a much more interesting puzzle...

I have a pal looking to do some similar changes, so we are knocking our gorgeous noggins together and seeing what we can make happen...

I have been feeling for a long time, my body crave the juicy juice detox gifty...and it is about carving out a space in the CrazySchedule to make myself important enough, my house clean enough, and the grocery shopping affordable enough to do a 10 day juice cleanse and reset. that sounds like excuses...i am choosing to see it as a Reality Check Opportunity...Raw Food/Juicy Food is high maintenance, and expensive in the urban would think as myself..I would be use to that...but I am not. One one gets into this can simplify as economy of motion kicks in...but that takes time.

My gluten intolerance is tipped over as well. Now, I  am not allergic...just sensitive after several years of eating without the mindfulness for that... acidity is harsh and need to focus on the alkaline making of the body pH.

so LOTS of Self Love work to do...did I mention that I suck at that?

Lost some peeps recently ...way to young for Death...and health issues...and have some more peeps dealing with health challenges of an epic

Future Times:

Looking at my commodities and futures reports, and gleaning much info from rouge economists and fringe watcher alternative news folk...the way we deal with, have access to, acquire good fresh garbage-free food is in danger of shifting in a way we are too terrified and in denial to imagine...

all the more reason to plan and dump the energetically manifested -bulky -flesh- dress...because when it comes down to survival..know one really cares if you are fat, what your skin color is, who your parents were, or what faith you practice...right? everything becomes CRYSTAL clear and that economy of E-motion kicks in...

And all signs of the coming future tells me the Zombie Apocalypse is not as far off as we needs to be a system reset and overhaul completed in the next 10 months...I feel the pressure from all sides.

I am listening now, Universe...I get it...the Hunger Games are here...we are poised for an Empire do we all do to strengthen, prepare, and be in the best place we can be to be in peace about what is possible, and change the story>

We focus on our Self  Love, Self Care and keep our hearts open to hear the wisdom from within, and then act on it.

the acting part...that is the scary piece sometimes...right?

William Shatner...look out Fat Diva is in the house...

Pray for me, gentle readers...pray for us all.