Did I get you with the cleverly worded title ? Yes? No?
Wait! Don't leave yet! I promise ...I DO talk about vaginas..and painted ones.. eventually...but first...
Let's talk about The Intentional Creativity Movement.
I was blessed to discover the revolutionary work and art of Shiloh Sophia McCloud in early December of 2012. It was so incredibly surreal to me, I actually FELT the Universe leading me there by the heart strings..and plugging me into something I am to be involved with next. Not only was her work gorgeous, and Divine Feminine based...but it was in joyous alignment with the work I was doing in my tribal circles with the power of Sound/Sonics and teaching the womens' to open their pie-holes and sing ...
(How to find out more about Shiloh Sophia McCloud-Lewis and the Cosmic Cowgirls:)
Cosmic Cowgirls info
Flashback December 2012....here was this amazing access to this amazing work. I was signed up to start doing something I have been TERRIFIED of doing most of my life, (which was painting)...and I was all ready with my canvases, paints, brushes etc...and then I lost my dear soul brother Adam less than 3 weeks later....and the devastation was beyond epic.
I tried..I tried to use the creative process to aid me in staying afloat in the tsunami of grief and loss..so so close on the heels of losing my father less than 11 months before that..
In theory , it would help me right? IN theory and IN fact...articles upon articles of proof that the creative process is beyond healing, and useful to recover from a plethora of ailments of the body, mind and spirit...for fuck sake... I TEACH this shit ...but I could not jack into it to help me ...WTHell?
Part of my year long absence was tied up in this quandary. And in fact..my entire world started to shut down...my mind, my physical body, my spirit..as if I was chasing my soul around trying to keep it in the air like a slowly deflating balloon...and in the end..about October of 2013...I had to call it and stop everything creative and otherwise in my life...or I knew I would not be here very long...because things had to drastically shift...
So after an 18 month period of denial and just existing ..barely.. lots of numbness and doing 'next to nothing" which for me is bizarre and not normal...I slowly started to crawl back to the creative side of myself...but in very, very small pieces...
In working toward studying the Color of Woman Technique with Maestra Shiloh Sophia, I am currently enrolled in her The Red Madonna series where we "slow paint" one piece over the course of the Lunar year. I started this journey with smaller classes like The Mary Magdalene and Visionary Woman...but this current course is a very deep shamanic and spiritual journey where I am challenged to ask myself questions like "What is my story I am telling myself about WHO I am ?"
And it all ties into the Self Love and Self Worth factors that my physical body is unraveling . I can not express the importance of doing this work being vital to my very ability to draw breath..and it has been very very potent and sometimes arresting in its intensity...when I just have to lie down on the ground and be fetal for a while as I process the digging around and releasing of ME.
And the hardest part is that is takes as long as it takes. It IS what it IS and there is no making it "''GO faster and happen less messy...it just IS" ...and that is a state most humans avoid with every atom of their Being because it is terrifying..
... we paint lots of vaginas ..or portals... from the Cosmic Mother to get ourselves prepped for the process of painting with the breath of The Divine running through us..and i super suck at it right now.. which is new for me in a creative endeavor..as I usually pick up on stuff fast..but this painting thing... S L O W to learn, but I am obsessed with becoming more than GOOD at it eventually..
So the slow crawl toward the Me that IS has begun and I am working with a wonderful nutritional therapist to help me with the physical and energetic body stuff.... hard doings, but each time we work on the issues is one baby step closer to healing myself.
This is most likely the hardest work I have ever had to do, and I have done some pretty hard stuff in my 45 years... but this is the most important...for sure.
so that is an update of sorts. I will post some progress pics of paintings as we get going on them..
it is all about the growth...right?....